1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
Well I don't actually have a favorite movie, there's just too many to choose from
2:Talk about your first kiss.
Ok, so my first kiss was with Nic in his garage. We;d been dating about three weeks, and we were watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith
(some spy movie). It started out with us kinda blindly kissing each other's cheeks and head and I took a little initiative and kinda trailed my way over to his mouth and kissed him
He fell off the couch...
3:Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for. Well shit, I guess that'd be Nathan. Like, our relationship is rewarding in all ways; romantically, physically, emotionally, intimately. He's both my best friend and my love.
4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. My biggest regret, crap. I guess it might be going to St. Matt's. I mean, it was just awful, and it completely warped my views of religion. I love Julia and I love Mary and I love Ryan, but I really just DESPISE that place.
5:Talk about the best birthday you've had.
I honestly can't remember many of my birthdays...
6:Talk about the worst birthday you've had. The one where I got a horrible stomach ache
7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. Being replaced. I mean by now I've noticed that I'm a pretty forgettable person, and it's easy to find someone new and more entertaining, so it makes it hard for me to actually get attached to someone because in the end I know that I'm disposable. People like to remind me that I'm disposable...
8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. Haha I'll have to get back to you on that
9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I guess my eye color...My scars...
10:Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had. Physical or verbal? Because I've had some pretty massive blowouts, it's hard to pick just one. I've gotten cussed at, screamed at, locked in my room, and almost hit (on one occasion)
11:Talk about the best dream you've ever had. Urg I like almost all my dreams there is no best/worst
12:Talk about the worst dream you've ever had. Again, all my dreams are pretty great so...
13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
First time I had sex was last summer in June on a Tuesday in my girlfriend's bedroom. It involved lots of biting and sucking and her fingernails were sharp as all fuck and it was a little louder than I'd expected and we both ended up really sweaty. I don't really know how I imagined it; to be honest, I'd always imagined it with a guy up until a few months prior. Then I just sorta...Let it lie? I dunno
I never put much thought into a "first time", it was more of a "hey, check out that sex scene in your mind".
14:Talk about a vacation. Until last year, my family, and a bunch of other families, would go on a cabin camping trip. The last one I ever went on was the summer of Nic and my relationship (the summer before Freshman year). It was one of the best times I ever had and I was young and naïve and in love and he was my best friend and we slept together (like actually SLEPT together, innocently, no kissing or sex or any of that). And it was crazy and dramatic but I loved it and I think he loved it too and we had a great time and I just wish that some day I'll be able to take my new friends, Nathan, Julia, everyone, back there and we can make our own memories.
15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. The first month I was dating Nic.
16:Talk about the best party you've ever been to. Nic's birthday party. We had this GIANT water fight and I borrowed his shirt and we just ran around and were kids and did stupid, fun things
17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. Nick from surf camp. I just...Miss his friendship. I knew it wasn't going to go anywhere outside of camp...But it was fun while it lasted
18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
Kevin and I, when we were in third grade, hopped the fence and went for a hike in the creek next to our school. It was really cool, we found a waterfall and a rope swing and I fell into the creep but we both a had a really good time
19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. Well there was that one time when I found out I was bi and freaked out because I didn't know bi existed so I thought I was a lesbian and I was just like "noooo but I like guys too wtf!!!"
20:Talk about something that happened in high school. I fucked a girl while her stuffed animals watched.
21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. OK perfect one. So during like early summer in freshman year i had this three week thing going with this guy named Arron. It was all over the phone, and he was just really clingy but also really flakey, like when we had set up a time to hang out he just flaked out on me and I was just like fuck this I don't really like you anyways so I dumped him and ANYWAYS after the whole Nic thing ran its course Arron started really talking to me again. He started getting really flirty and he;d give me Rice Krispies every fucking day and it was getting really uncomfortable and he asked me out really abruptly one day and I was so sick of him I was just like "No." And got up really quick and walked away.
22:Talk about your worst fear. Being replaced again...
23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I haven't had that happen...
24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. "You're perfect, you could never fail me."
25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Frankly you guys know all about Nic and Andrew...I don't really feel like retelling the whole story...
26:Talk about things you do when you're sick. Sit around and go online
27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body. Eyes
28:Talk about your fetishes.
I like BDSM
I just like exercising my dominance
29:Talk about what turns you on. Biting, licking, good sense of humor, someone who smells good, grinding, neck kisses, kindness, dominating/being dominated (I'm versatile)
30:Talk about what turns you off. BO, lack of hygiene, stupid pick up lines, kiss ups, lack of reciprocation
31:Talk about what you think death is like. Depends on how you die
32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. The meeting poles underneath the playground. It was where Grace, Kevin, Gavin and I would meet every day to discuss what we were going to play
33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. Nothing, I'm always sad.
34:Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured. Period cramps
35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Seeing things
36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. Hand jobs and junk food
37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. Jenny...Month later and I was begging to be free
38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Last On You Love-Breathe Electric (Nathan), Sleeping With Sirens (Jenny)
39:Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier. That Nathan was a great boyfriend, that friends aren't always forever, that Highschool's a bitch, that Nic isn't as true a friend as I thought, that long sleeves need to be worn around the house at all times, that you can't trust anyone anymore
40:Talk about the end of something in your life. My grip on reality started off slow.
It began as just randomly feeling things on occasion, and slowly snowballed into seeing things, doors warp, creatures move around, feeling an ever-present entity, hearing things, the constant panic.