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About Traditional Art / Student Member JennaFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Artist | Student | Traditional Art
United States

Age: 16
Favorite Color: Purple? Blue?
Height: 5'4"
Favorite Sports: Track & Field
Favorite songs: Anything from Under Soil and Dirt or What You Don't See (Both The Story So Far)
Relation-ship status: Taken by a lovely, amazingly amazing boy!! :heart:
OCs: Blaire Cross, Azuli Ibiza, Grayson Bea, Shaun Love, Emily Hewer, Ramona Dallaire, Oliver Morissey

:iconneonfreeon: <-----Dude, she may not upload a lot of art, but she's still pretty cool. So go, watch this ginger Catholic!

:iconecoking13: <-----RYPIE! He's an old school friend, I hardly see him anymore :(

:iconthe-albino-emo: <----- Omg I love him :glomp: He's fun to talk to and a really nice guy :)

:iconmoulinrougegirl77: <-----My very first watcher on Deviantart, she's a great support system and is super sweet. She's always there for a friend :)

:icon17bloodwolf: <-----SHE IS FUCKING AMAZING!!!! :heart:

:icontoolazyforarealname: <------OHMYGOD She's awesome and fun to talk to and hella funny asdfghjkl
  • Mood: Apprehensive
I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on Monday and 1:00 and I'm scared. To me, this is an approaching end. I want my answers but I'm scared that once I get them, I won't know what to do with myself. It's easy to take some pills that a slip of paper tells me to but it can't make me want to take them. I don't know if I want to recover. I know I should and this shit seriously sucks but I can't picture anything without it, it's a part of me. I honestly don't feel like I'm bad enough. I feel like everything I feel is minor compared to most. Maybe I exaggerate everything. I don't WANT to seem like I'm exaggerating things, I try to tell it how it is, how I'm experiencing it. I don't know how to talk about it, either. What should I even say? How can I make it clear and concise and easy to pin point and categorize so she can figure it out? 

Actually I have an idea. I'm going to go through every illness I know and underneath I'll put the symptoms that apply to me (and I'll only put them there if I've met the time criteria as well). This will help.

Schizophrenia and Psychotic spectrum disorders

Schizotypal Personality Disorder
  • Being a loner/lacking in close friends/increased interest in solitary activities
  • Incorrect interpretation of events (finding personal meaning in meaningless or neutral things)
  • Peculiar/unusual or eccentric behaviors or beliefs
  • Peculiar clothing styles (I put this here tentatively because they seem kinda abnormal compared to others but idk)
  • Belief in special powers
  • Hallucinations
  • Persistant and excessive social anxiety
  • Peculiar style of speech (Again I don't know for sure)
  • Paranoid or suspicious ideas
  • Hypersensitivity
  • Emotional flattening or inappropriate emotional response (In my case it's flattening)
(You must be 18 to receive an official diagnosis for any personality disorder. It needs to have began in adolescence.)

  • Delusions
  • Hallucinations
  • Disorganized thinking/speech (However it's possible that it's linked to mania, I get disorganized speech in my "up" weeks. For me it's a lot of loose associations and neologisms)
  • Disorganized or disrupted motor behavior (For me this could be excessive pacing, lack of response, lack of movement and/or speech, bizarre posture, or excessive hand movements, like rubbing them together, clapping, twisting, tapping, etc.)
  • Emotional flattening
  • Refusal to make eye-contact
  • Lack of motivation
  • (For disorganized type) Preoccupation with my own thoughts and perceptions (OBVIOUSLY haha)
(Symptoms need to persist for 6 months)

Schizoaffective Disorder
  • Hallucinations
  • Delusions
  • Major depressed mood episodes
  • -Possible- manic or hypomanic/mixed episodes
  • Impaired social functioning
  • Paranoid thoughts or ideas
(Basically I need to have a least 2 symptoms of schizophrenia over a course of one month as well as a persistent and apparent mood disruption (either of major depressive type or bipolar type)


Early stage (Also called warning signs)
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Depressed or flattened mood
  • Sleep disturbance
  • Anxiety 
  • Suspiciousness
  • Withdrawal from family and/or friends
  • Ongoing unusual thoughts/beliefs
  • Frequent "zoning out" or staring off into nothingness
  • Bizarre behaviors
Late Stage (Or during the episode)
  • Delusions
  • Hallucinations
  • Disorganized speech
  • Depression or anxiety
  • Emotional flattening
  • Suicidal thoughts or actions
  • Impaired functioning

  • Extreme negativism (Basically a blatant and motiveless refusal to move or be moved)
  • Hypokinesis (Immobility or being unable to move)
  • Selective mutism (Being unable to speak due to high levels of anxiety)
  • Unusual movements
  • Intense emotional pain caused by normal physical movements
  • Rigidity
  • Waxy flexibility (Basically like if someone were to take my arm and position it straight up in the air I would leave it there)
(This is an extremely persistent and debilitating symptom of mine. It's extremely frustrating. It's most commonly associated with Major depression and Schizophrenia spectrum disorders)

Bipolar Disorder

Manic, hypomanic, or mixed episode symptoms (I will specify if necessary)
  • Feeling unusually "high" 
  • Feeling extremely irritable (Far more common for me)
  • Talking very rapidly
  • Racing thoughts
  • Being highly distractible and unable to focus
  • Delusions/hallucinations
(Personally, I experience more hypomanic or mixed episodes. Hypomanic episodes cause euphoria, excess energy and productivity, making it seem like I'm in a very, very good mood, but it doesn't affect my functioning in society and goes unnoticed by most. Then mixed episodes are basically like having mania and major depression all at once. This means high energy and irritability but low mood and poor self image. Mixed episodes raise the bar for suicide)

  • Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or unhappiness
  • Angry outbursts or frustration/irritability, even over small things
  • Lack of interest in pleasurable or normal activities
  • Sleep disturbances (For me it's just a highly disrupted sleeping pattern)
  • Tiredness or lack of energy
  • Changes in appetite (I've lost so much weight and my appetite is screwy)
  • Anxiety, agitation, or restlessness
  • Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, and making decisions
  • Frequent thoughts of death or suicide
(There are lots of different types of depression. I experiencing it with mixed features (Like mixed episodes on bipolar disorder), catatonic features, atypical features, and psychotic features)

Anxiety Disorders

Social Anxiety
  • Excessive self consciousness and anxiety in everyday social situations
  • Extreme fear of being watched or judged by others, especially by those you don't know 
  • Irrational fear of embarrassing oneself in public
  • Fear that others will notice that you are nervous
  • Hiding or staying quiet in social situations
  • Avoiding social situations to the point where it can disrupt daily/social functioning
  • A need to have a buddy wherever you go (Nathan!)
(Pretty self-explanatory. This can get so bad that I'll be physically unable to speak)

Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  • Constant worry or obsession over small or large concerns (Currently this means what the fuck is wrong with me)
  • Restlessness/feeling on edge
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Irritability
  • Trembling, feeing twitchy, or being easily startled
  • Trouble sleeping
  • nausea
Dissociative Disorders

  • Feelings of being alienated or unfamiliar with your surroundings
  • Feeling emotionally disconnected from your loved ones (Especially true with my family)
  • Surroundings appear distorted, cloudy, two dimensional or fake
  • Hypersensitivity or extreme clarity and awareness of surroundings
(Again, pretty self explanatory. It's like everything is in a dream and you're waiting to wake up but it NEVER happens)

So, I've made my list. I think I'll print this out and kind of condense it (Because there's a lot of repetition). I AM NOT SELF DIAGNOSING. I want that to be very clear, I am in no way using this to diagnose myself with ANYTHING. I'm looking at my behavior and noting that it correlates with these disorders. This is helping me organize what I need to talk about and what I feel is important to bring up and will aid in my recovery. There is a difference between having concerns/hunches that you bring up with your doctor, and self diagnosing. If i was self diagnosing, I'd say "Look, I'm bipolar and psychotic and schizophrenic and depressed blah blah blah". Self diagnosing is dangerous and it damages the reputations and validity of those ho ACTUALLY SUFFER from the given disorder. Please do not self diagnose. If you EVER think that there is something disrupting your mental and emotional functioning, bring it up with a psychiatrist and get the help that you need and deserve.

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ithaswhatitisnt Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the fave(s)! :tighthug: 
EcoKing13 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey I got a date for the Writers Guild event. It's on March 11th, around 3:30. You think you can make it?
Dayglo14 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
3:30? And it's at your school?
EcoKing13 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Dayglo14 Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Fuck idk if I can go... My school lets out at 3:15... If I went I'd probably be late to it
(1 Reply)
moulinrougegirl77 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014
happy birthday
Dayglo14 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
moulinrougegirl77 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014
17BloodWolf Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Happy birthday! (I still need to finish your present -_-)
Dayglo14 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Oh that's totally not necessary, but thanks dude X3
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